Morning Labyrinth
It was a fine June morning and I headed for work with a 'happy child' mood as i was privileged with an opportunity of attending a documentation workshop, arranged by the training unit of my organization. More than acquiring skills and expertise of the very "projection mirror of organizational best practices" (and the word is documentation), i was keen to get an interactive break while making new friends (read contacts to be politically correct) from my day to day dumb office work with a hang prone computer. The day started off with even more cake walk, when i got a lift from my uncle, covered 1/3 rd of my destination and got an empty auto from that point. Empty Autos have always been a threat to me while going to work because the drivers are just not ready to move until and unless the Vehicle is fully occupied; and that is the only time when i praise Mumbai Autos, despite the rip off meter readings.
The auto started moving slowly and i sat fingers crossed, as any point of time the autowala might stop the three wheeler and would start crying "chetla, tartala, behala"...all promising stops to get passengers. But to my wonder, he didn’t stop anywhere, although i was the sole passenger and would have only compensated a mere nine bucks against his huge fuel consumption. I thanked god and my luck.
Traveling with an eunuch
Then all of a sudden, instead of crossing an over bridge, straight away, he took a left turn and before i could react, the driver came up with an explanation: just wanna take that passenger. I was shocked; for taking passengers, now these people have started shuffling routes or what....irritation filled my mind! Then i saw my co passenger...a tall sari clad eunuch with no hurry to get inside the auto, rather preferred to take a rowdy stand and ordered the auto fellow to wait. I really didn’t know what to do, because sitting next to an eunuch in such close proximity of auto was really a new experience for me; to be more precise, unpleasant grossly. The hoarse voice of my co passenger was coming as s/he was abusing a shop keeper for Wasuli and I got scared all the more. Suppressing my fear I preferred to show my irritation to the autowala; but again he came up with a ready answer :shap dey eder na nile…ki korbo bolun… (They curse a lot m’dam….if I don’t take…) I was really able to buy his fear psychosis of curse, but was pondering over my all encounters with eunuch while traveling in the train and only a surge of fear engulfed me; I could remember my male friends heading towards the loo with the very sound of that hoarse voice and tali from distant passage of train, leaving me all alone to face the “nuisance”.
Time was running fast and I was finding a way to escape, when my co passenger ordered to drive slow evoking my irritation even higher, but I had no option other than sitting and tolerating that uncanny situation. The eunuch gave me a look and I ignored, though shivered from inside, acted hard to bring the “I don’t care who is sitting next to me” look. The auto started moving, and the eunuch engaged in loud conversation with the auto wala. I deciphered, they know each other very well and the fear of ‘curse’ was just a crap.
The eunuch gave me some more dubious look and this time my masquerading failed; hence to conceal my real self of anxiety, I used an old trick of mine: took out the cell phone and started making calls. It worked. But suddenly another fear grabbed me: what if s/he wants to take my cell phone? What would be my answer? The uncanny uniqueness of the incident made me numb and I started lacking sane, forgetting the fact, I have one obvious and simple way out to get over the deal by leaving that auto…..my thought process get a jerk as the co passenger decided to break the ice between us. And now, I don’t have any escape.
We started to talk……
Call me deepa mashi……..
My name is Depali, you can call me deepa mashi as she showed the tattoo on her left arm and it was not because of her inscribed name that I am mentioning Depali as ‘She’ but the intense womanish traits, which I could discover through out my journey( ever since I’ve started talking to her). She loves to talk. Thus, conversation covered wide spectrum of topics starting from spectacular Kali puja at her locality to the importance of women’s work, her new Shree Leather’s Chappal to grand son’s mischief, training mode of junior eunuch to tremendous inflation and so on. I acted as a patient listener and essentially nodded at her all utterances (Actually I don’t have much guts to deny a stout eunuch sitting next to me). She showed all her areas to me, the areas which I pass every single day while going to work; but that day, those places bring out a new reason to notice as the self proclaimed Eunuch King Deepa, rules over there.( That was the only time when I saw masculinity into Deepa)
The auto was actually booked by her, and thus, she and the driver did a favor to me and offered the ride till my office (which is long ahead from the scheduled auto route) and I was happy as by then my fear got mellowed down. While the auto was approaching Pailan (A place from which I have to walk down again to reach work), she asked me to use her name, whenever I am meeting an eunuch, even I can use her name at any dispute in those areas…….i reached my place, and taking out my purse asked the fellow “how much?”…….Oh that was a sheer mistake as the hoarse voice roared on….. “You are offering Money?”…I got bit confused and didn’t answer; and Deepa mashi soften down immediately and politely told me, “I have said you’re my niece, and I am your Deepa Mashi…will you offer money to your aunt? Never ever do it again as I smiled and ready to get down, she put her hand on my head and blessed me…. ‘May u get all the success and prosperity in your life’………...
Perhaps the touch got a magic, that soften hoarse voice got a melancholy…. Perhaps it was the feeling that we’ll never meet again
But it compelled me to pivot around some simple questions…..why can’t we accept them without any inhibition? What am I afraid of more….the very existence of a powerful castrated or cross dressed or incomplete human being or of the filthy language and the threat of exposition of genitals? What was the reason for the auto fellow to deny his friendship with the eunuch while taking the excuse of bane? Does the grand son of Deepa will accept her when he will grow up or he will also feel ashamed of his grand ma’s so called derogative societal identity?
The answers didn’t appear in black and white…
And for the first time in my six months job, I felt sad that the journey got over……
