We stand by Mumbai…….A playful Gimmick or a powerful Gesture?!

They say civil society is awaking. And thus proactive role of citizens against any misdeed is not a rare affair these days. Perhaps candle lit peace march is one of those celebrated protest gestures among many and I don’t know whether this apparent somber touched candle lit marches are actually some replicated version of a highly emotive scene backed up by a suitable background score of A. R. Raheman,
from the movie- Rang De Basanti .

Well, I am not trying to be skeptical about these protest marches or similar moves by the civil society, rather, I always felt bad when I heard of such moves against a cause which I too strongly support and could no take part in it, simply because of some lethargic (read laayd) habits. Then visualizing the live or delayed coverage of those events and glancing on the front or mid page of the newspaper has always made me frowned silently; while cursing myself even more silently: I should have gone!! However, I have never shown up, neither during Rizwanur Episode, nor during the Nandi gram issue!

But I have always appreciated those attempts and recently was just bewildered while listening to several people’s appeal for joining a peace march in front of Victoria Memorial through a typical late night Radio show, which is known for its RJ’s mystical voice and romantic aura.

But two repeated experience of witnessing those candle lit protest march from outside the “michil” had evaporated all respects of mine from the civil society’s protest gimmick and perhaps that’s the reason the write up starts with a dubious tone.

The first experience was to see a really long rally of school children, which caused an elaborate traffic jam in Taratala and adjoining James Long bypass, while I was also stuck inside an auto. At first I could not gauge what is happening and to see the blissful attitudes of the children, I thought they are heading for some sports event or so. The posters and unlit candles barely signified any thing and were actually coverd up by their smiling face and candid approach. Then finally I realized it’s against the Mumbai Attack……….!!
Trust me, that protest march has only evoked appalled irritation towards the whole event which perpetually hit the alleged authority. I guess many like me, who stuck in that traffic would have possessed the same thought!!

The second experience was less troublesome and more shocking as this time it was an adult group upholding banner of Pranayam guru Ravi shankar along with the posters : We stand by Mumbai; heading towards the Dhakuria Lake through Goal Park. Joyful features, with a muffled chatted voice- could easily be the bottom line to describe that Protest march!! Well, from the distance, it was an eye catcher as you won’t get to see the detailed movement of the participants but flickering beams of candle light stood well contrasted with the night’s attire. Here also, the carefree nature of the procession hardly symbolized the protest or mourning for the 26/11 Mumbai incident, rather it helped the non participant pedestrians to cross the wide juncture of Goal park, peacefully. I was no exception, when I on looked the most shocking or the most hilarious incident : A white salwar clad young lady took a sharp cut from the procession and about to leave, when she was caught by another lady screaming “ don’t u dare to leave” and the smart deviant for some reason joined the rally again with a mischievous smile!!

I really did not know how to react and the first time I praised myself for not attending those protest marches as I was never fully inspired to exhibit my protest in public. And I congratulate all those lazy types like me, who never felt motivated enough to move out to take part in this sort of Gimmick!! May be walking down a long way in a resentful manner is pretty boring, specially for school children, but I could not understand the attempt of taking part / forced to take part in a movement which’s purpose is not at all internalized and in the process perverting the purpose itself.

Well, I am sorry, if I hurt the civil society, who takes these apparent simple looked protest moves in a real serious manner, which actually I believe has significant implications, but I find no word to despise these people, who indulge themselves into the mockery of suffered Mumbaikers through their so called “Protest moves” and “candle lit marches”in a chill-pill mood…!!

kolkata korcha

the city which makes our identity
creates our ethnicity
where we have known eachother..
where we have loved each other....
touched eachother..........

and want to come back forever
a city full of dust...crowd...traffic....
oh how we hated it
oh how we loved it
a city of full life....a city of joy
Kolkata....our envoy

Hyderabad Blues

Prologue

It was a shabby huge hall just before you step out from the fort. We were pretty exhausted and contended with the happy hour alcohol and climbing top of the fort and merely interested to see any more things, when Sandeep made me stood at an angular corner of the hall and placed himself quickly onto the other end asking me to press my ear against the cold wired wall….” Debo can u listen to me?” yup.. Pretty clear I answered back; startled completely by the architecture of the room, but then there was something more flattering: “Debo will u marry me?”…An ever craving phrase hit upon my ear!! Never in my life have I imagined I would get a marriage proposal like this….

The call

I got the call at an odd hour of my work, when I was out to field at a tacky corner of Razabazar, taking swift lunch of prohibited beef biriyani- an angry voice puffed in: Are u coming or not? And the fainted tint of my Hyderabad trip arrayed back as a torment in the middle of my “convincing doc s programme” (yea, my pride of working in a Nation wide programme of National AIDS Control Organization to prevent Sexual Diseases for the wider benefit of India’s latest concern HIV & AIDS has now come to a mere doc catching game for a stupid training for the release of mighty 2nd cheque from NACO to cash in our salaries!!!)

And then there were many such long distance calls followed in at the time of my dinner, during late nite power cuts, in the midst of terrible way-back-work traffic and so on. Some times it was calm n composed leading questions of my tour plan and the final dates and tickets and sometimes over excited assurance of well settled arrangement of hostel-stay-plan by masquerading cousin sis, fights with Super and so on….which all actually
reinforced my trip to Hyderabad, removing dilemmas over logical thoughts of not opting leave at an crucial hour of new project and immense carve to spend an unplugged holiday;
reiterated the fact that I got to go and
remembered me thousand times that two souls out there at distant corner of SSIM waiting irrationally and impatiently for my arrival:
sandeep and ria!!

The official agenda

Confused with the bitter relation with my boss, I was stumbling for an opportunity to grant leave (as according to my boss’s “management theory – “leave isn’t your right but privilege)!! And I was refused to grant leave when asked rationally saying “the reason is personal”. I was told, if really need the leave, you will get it and the “real need” list topped the leave for marriage!! Me the gal, who has not got distant plan for marriage (thanks to my boy friend), got least amused with the proposition contrary to many of my age would, to hear an easy approval of “long wedding leave”!! And thus I had to talk the call saying “I’m actually going to settle my marriage”- to stuff some more pounds on the rationale behind my trip. Well it wasn’t a complete alien scheme: Sandeep being the eligible bachelor with a handful job at HDFC and our freaky conversation over the prospects of our marriage covered up the lie of my official agenda ushering comfort upon my conscience.

The Hug

After settling comfortably at the side lower of Falaknama with a Dan Brown, I overheard some discussions between the pantry guy and my neighbors that the train will reach Hyderabad some 8-9 hrs late and its scheduled like this for a month or so. It was a mere overheard fact but the impact was enormous. I detested literally everything after ensuring the truth of the train schedule!!(I guess those who knows me well will well understand the fact behind my dismayed situation and why can’t I afford to waste a single moment of my tour plan at Hyderabad! I spend counting hours remained for Hyderabad for several hours in the train, leaving aside the interesting encryption of Ensei Tankado!! But it all get dissolved somewhere under the sun, when the train hit the Secundrabad station and I met Ria. Well Sandeep was there too (a bit more handsome than he appeared in the photograph) but Ria, the over excited one as always ,figured me out in the crowd sprinkling happiness in the air and extending a bi….g tight hug, which I never got in my entire life! And it extended so long that finally Sandeep felt left out, which made him speak off “now let it be…and lets go”!!(This actually didn’t make any difference on Ria’s action!)
Well then I hugged Sandeep too which made him crack into a generous smile but his conscious hug without actually touching me gave the back drop of a traditional Malayalam guy, very unlike of another Malayalam friend I know- Bala.

Pubbing

Heading for the Pub so eagerly and making a plan to spend more time over there chucking out Bairaju Foundation visit is the only thing which I am repenting about my Hyderabad trip, specially after the long drawn battle with my boss (and my give in situation) ever since I have come back from there….
But repentance doesn’t faded away the aura of pitch dark pub at city, which I consider as an ultimate couple’s destination, abandoning Bala’s Colaba based happening one, not even visiting it. Apart from the drink and smoke and the silly- life- problems which we enjoyed in the midst of comfortable darkness and loud “Hotel California”, I will always remember the Hot- peeper- Chicken- hunting with the toothpick from the plate with the help of mobile phone back light!!


Golkunda

Golkunda was my only demand and I had to visit that to satisfy my child hood fantasy about this fort. And being the only destination for our photo shoot Golkunda will always carry the traits of my Hydearbad trip through several snaps posted at orkut. I have seen many forts and climbed many stairs to reach the top, but visiting Golkunda is incomparable as till now, I could sense the pulse of very moment spent out there filled with intangible happiness and excitement. Sandeep took the toll of being a guide and was really accurate while giving crappy stories in a confident gesture. We missed the famous Taali point of the fort in search of some unconventional destination in vain and finally before coming out got to see a place, which should be conventionally famous, but to our luck was not.
It was a shabby huge hall just before you step out from the fort. We were pretty exhausted and contended with the happy hour alcohol and climbing top of the fort and merely interested to see any more things, when Sandeep made me stood at an angular corner of the hall and placed himself quickly onto the other end asking me to press my ear against the cold wired wall….” Debo can u listen to me?” “Yup.. Pretty clear” I answered back; startled completely by the architecture of the room, but then there was something more flattering: “Debo will u marry me?”…An ever craving phrase hit upon my ear!! Never in my life have I imagined I would get a marriage proposal like this…. having tryst upon resonance created by some ancient architect for some technology freak Nizam………
I had to conceal my amusement and I had to act smart, thus I popped out a prompt reply- “Oh of course!!” But I wish it was true! Nothing more romantic than this could have ever happened, if only it were my marriage phobic boy friend, instead of Ria’s best Friend Sandeep!!

When our “Mom” claimed ‘I am Single….’

It’s a real fun to see Ria, who has always been considered as Eyya boka ( enormously stupid) among our Kolkata friend, to turn into a responsible being, taking only care of my food, bath water, bus timings and etc. And it was amazing to experience the party craving gal putting a ban on drinks after a mere two pegs and forcing people not to drink more!! The one, who has always made plans for my week ends during her Kolkata stays actually wanted us every time to get back soon from every place we visited; literally making me and Sandeep a pact of rebels!! No wonder we gave her the upper designation like MUMMY!!
But the most hilarious episode was to witness our Mummy’s fight with her boyfriend –Deba (who’s by any chance was not our Papa) and after that her declaration to be single and not ready to mingle!! I am not sure about the period she remained in her very single relationship status, but will always remember the snaps clicked at Eat Street celebrating her single hood!!

Sandeep… I miss the burger

I have never missed a burger in the same way as I did that day. And I never cursed myself before for not listening to Ria’s advice “pack a chicken sandwich for dinner” as I had to starve becoz of all these till 12.30 in the next afternoon.

But I will miss many more I guess….the jacket, which Ria took off from her body to protect me from cold, the full share blanket to cover myself from the terrible high speed fan at the hostel room, the intensity of the hugs, the kisses (which I never got from any of my friend), the untold good bye to sandeep for the stupid punctuality of the bus, the love and concern in the burger for a mere chat friend or a best friend’s friend and….

(lot more , which are actually not palpable to pen down in black and white, which I guess will remain as a bond between us, a resultant path created with this trip….lead towards somewhere deep, intense…… unknown to others…..
Love u guys…a lot!!

Morning Labyrinth and Deepa Mashi

Morning Labyrinth

It was a fine June morning and I headed for work with a 'happy child' mood as i was privileged with an opportunity of attending a documentation workshop, arranged by the training unit of my organization. More than acquiring skills and expertise of the very "projection mirror of organizational best practices" (and the word is documentation), i was keen to get an interactive break while making new friends (read contacts to be politically correct) from my day to day dumb office work with a hang prone computer. The day started off with even more cake walk, when i got a lift from my uncle, covered 1/3 rd of my destination and got an empty auto from that point. Empty Autos have always been a threat to me while going to work because the drivers are just not ready to move until and unless the Vehicle is fully occupied; and that is the only time when i praise Mumbai Autos, despite the rip off meter readings.
The auto started moving slowly and i sat fingers crossed, as any point of time the autowala might stop the three wheeler and would start crying "chetla, tartala, behala"...all promising stops to get passengers. But to my wonder, he didn’t stop anywhere, although i was the sole passenger and would have only compensated a mere nine bucks against his huge fuel consumption. I thanked god and my luck.

Traveling with an eunuch

Then all of a sudden, instead of crossing an over bridge, straight away, he took a left turn and before i could react, the driver came up with an explanation: just wanna take that passenger. I was shocked; for taking passengers, now these people have started shuffling routes or what....irritation filled my mind! Then i saw my co passenger...a tall sari clad eunuch with no hurry to get inside the auto, rather preferred to take a rowdy stand and ordered the auto fellow to wait. I really didn’t know what to do, because sitting next to an eunuch in such close proximity of auto was really a new experience for me; to be more precise, unpleasant grossly. The hoarse voice of my co passenger was coming as s/he was abusing a shop keeper for Wasuli and I got scared all the more. Suppressing my fear I preferred to show my irritation to the autowala; but again he came up with a ready answer :shap dey eder na nile…ki korbo bolun… (They curse a lot m’dam….if I don’t take…) I was really able to buy his fear psychosis of curse, but was pondering over my all encounters with eunuch while traveling in the train and only a surge of fear engulfed me; I could remember my male friends heading towards the loo with the very sound of that hoarse voice and tali from distant passage of train, leaving me all alone to face the “nuisance”.
Time was running fast and I was finding a way to escape, when my co passenger ordered to drive slow evoking my irritation even higher, but I had no option other than sitting and tolerating that uncanny situation. The eunuch gave me a look and I ignored, though shivered from inside, acted hard to bring the “I don’t care who is sitting next to me” look. The auto started moving, and the eunuch engaged in loud conversation with the auto wala. I deciphered, they know each other very well and the fear of ‘curse’ was just a crap.
The eunuch gave me some more dubious look and this time my masquerading failed; hence to conceal my real self of anxiety, I used an old trick of mine: took out the cell phone and started making calls. It worked. But suddenly another fear grabbed me: what if s/he wants to take my cell phone? What would be my answer? The uncanny uniqueness of the incident made me numb and I started lacking sane, forgetting the fact, I have one obvious and simple way out to get over the deal by leaving that auto…..my thought process get a jerk as the co passenger decided to break the ice between us. And now, I don’t have any escape.
We started to talk……

Call me deepa mashi……..

My name is Depali, you can call me deepa mashi as she showed the tattoo on her left arm and it was not because of her inscribed name that I am mentioning Depali as ‘She’ but the intense womanish traits, which I could discover through out my journey( ever since I’ve started talking to her). She loves to talk. Thus, conversation covered wide spectrum of topics starting from spectacular Kali puja at her locality to the importance of women’s work, her new Shree Leather’s Chappal to grand son’s mischief, training mode of junior eunuch to tremendous inflation and so on. I acted as a patient listener and essentially nodded at her all utterances (Actually I don’t have much guts to deny a stout eunuch sitting next to me). She showed all her areas to me, the areas which I pass every single day while going to work; but that day, those places bring out a new reason to notice as the self proclaimed Eunuch King Deepa, rules over there.( That was the only time when I saw masculinity into Deepa)
The auto was actually booked by her, and thus, she and the driver did a favor to me and offered the ride till my office (which is long ahead from the scheduled auto route) and I was happy as by then my fear got mellowed down. While the auto was approaching Pailan (A place from which I have to walk down again to reach work), she asked me to use her name, whenever I am meeting an eunuch, even I can use her name at any dispute in those areas…….i reached my place, and taking out my purse asked the fellow “how much?”…….Oh that was a sheer mistake as the hoarse voice roared on….. “You are offering Money?”…I got bit confused and didn’t answer; and Deepa mashi soften down immediately and politely told me, “I have said you’re my niece, and I am your Deepa Mashi…will you offer money to your aunt? Never ever do it again as I smiled and ready to get down, she put her hand on my head and blessed me…. ‘May u get all the success and prosperity in your life’………...

Perhaps the touch got a magic, that soften hoarse voice got a melancholy…. Perhaps it was the feeling that we’ll never meet again
But it compelled me to pivot around some simple questions…..why can’t we accept them without any inhibition? What am I afraid of more….the very existence of a powerful castrated or cross dressed or incomplete human being or of the filthy language and the threat of exposition of genitals? What was the reason for the auto fellow to deny his friendship with the eunuch while taking the excuse of bane? Does the grand son of Deepa will accept her when he will grow up or he will also feel ashamed of his grand ma’s so called derogative societal identity?
The answers didn’t appear in black and white…
And for the first time in my six months job, I felt sad that the journey got over……